If only we had seen it coming, we could have socked our money safely into "bear funds" and made some serious returns over the last decade, right?

Sadly, no.  "Bear funds" were the worst performing funds over the last ten years (down 10% on average) and over the last five years (down 13% on average), according to Morningstar.

Why?  Because market timing doesn't work, "bear funds" are egregiously expensive, and because it's dangerous to bet against capitalism.